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We all experience guilt, whether we’re a mom or not. Guilt tends to come with being a woman. I’ve realized through talking with so many friends that we all experience the same things. And while it’s common, it’s something that not only holds us back from being the kind of parents we want to be but also hinders us from becoming the best version of ourselves.
My experience with mom guilt
When our kids were younger, I decided to quit my teaching job and stay home with them. The idea at the time was that while being home with my kids, I would work on building my photography business. However, I found it to be much more than I anticipated. Not only was I juggling making baby food, trying to socialize Hadley, going to the gym, and doing paperwork for Tom at the time, but I was also trying to build my photography business. I was really trying to do it all, and as we all know, we just can’t do it all.
Tom, on the other hand, was working full-time in his business and had the flexibility to leave work early to go golfing. This led to me feeling resentful. Looking back, I could have released a lot of that pressure I was putting on myself. There were probably things I could’ve let go of. Did I need to make baby food? No. Did I need to be building my business the way I was at that time? Probably not. So, I definitely could’ve eased a lot of that pressure.
The importance of self-care
Tom often encouraged me to take time for myself. He knew I needed it. I was home all day with the kids and I never took that time for me, which I now know is incredibly important. Taking time for yourself, whether it’s walking around a store, getting a massage, or taking a yoga class, is not only beneficial for you but for everyone around you. Whatever you do, you want it to be something you really enjoy that can help you be refreshed when you’re done.
Making the time to do things for yourself
The other important thing to think about is that you need to make time to do things for yourself. A lot of us feel the scarcity of time. We feel like we have so much to do, how could we possibly have time to do something just for us? Put it on your calendar and make it part of your routine.
Embracing your identity beyond motherhood
One thing I do want to say is that if you’re a mom, you’re not just a mom. You still have an identity outside of being a mom. It’s really important not to lose yourself and your identity once you have kids, not just for you, but for them. You want to show them that while you love them so much, it’s important to take care of yourself too. When you are filling your own cup, you can show up better for everyone around you.
As women, we can be so hard on ourselves. So many things could be solved with a little bit of self-care and a little bit of time away so we can reset, refresh, and come back even better. Remember – taking care of yourself is not selfish, it’s necessary.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU CAN LOOK FORWARD TO:
- Understanding mom guilt and my personal experience with it
- The importance of self-care and finding time for yourself
- Embracing your identity beyond motherhood
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